LADIES AND GENTLEPENGUINS! Welcome to the most action-packed extravaganza you will ever witness in your entire waddling lives! Tonight, your mind will undergo a roller coaster of events never experienced before. Your eyes will melt, your voice will vanish, your flightless wings will climb air! You will experience everything you thought was impossible!
Ladies and gentlepenguins, welcome to....
CPPWE! CPPWE! CPPWE!
Now we go to our fine ring announcer with a very astonishing mustache for our first match of the evening!
Announcer Stevens: This match is a gauntlet match! Introducing first, from the Forest cave... The Werewolf!
Werewolf: RAWR! I'm a real werewolf!
My God, what a shocking occurrence! A WEREWOLF! Who is the poor sucker who has to face this beast in a GAUNTLET MATCH?!
Commentator Nicholas: This will surely be a hob knocker, Lance Catawear!
Commentator Catawear: Slobber knocker, Nicholas. The term is slobber knocker.
Nicholas: Ah, yes. My mistake.
Announcer Stevens: And his opponent, from my local dentist office... Ian Pullem!
It sure will, Mr. Nicholas.
The Werewolf's first opponent is a man named Ian Pullem! I wonder what this competitor will have to offer...
Ian Pullem: MWA HA HA HA HA! Free dental appointments after this event.
Commentator Nicholas: This will be an exciting, lengthy match, Lance. CLAW SLAM! It's over!
Werewolf: RAWR! I'M UNSTOPPABLE!
Announcer Stevens: And his next opponent, from Fall Fair... Boink the Clown!
Apparently not much. The Werewolf finished him like dinner and remains in the match!
It appears Mr. Pullem will be fixing his own teeth tonight!
Boink the Clown: YOU'RE SCREWED!
Commentator Nicholas: He must be right, Lance! This is going to be a great match. CLAW SLAM! It's over, Lance!
Commentator Catawear: He's going through 'em like I went through that bird I ate earlier!
Commentator Nicholas: You are cor... wait, what!?
Commentator Catawear: ...I didn't say anything....
Commentator Nicholas: Tell me you did not.... you disgust me.
Announcer Stevens: And his third opponent, from the University... That Janitor Guy!
I guess the Werewolf is not too fond of clowns, as he finishes his second opponent off like desert!
Our friends at the commentary table seem to be at disagreement. Hopefully they can co-exist to call The Werewolf's next match, which is against That Janitor Guy!
That Janitor Guy: *sighs* Just end my miserable life already.
Commentator Nicholas: CLAW SLAM! He is unstoppable, my sick colleague.
Commentator Catawear: No comment.
Announcer Stevens: And his fourth opponent, from The Grave... The Mortician!
I guess not all jobs are beneficial. What a tragedy.
Anyway, it seems the Werewolf has finally met his match as he squares off with... The Mortician!
The Mortician: REST IN PEACE!
Commentator Nicholas: Look at this mad man! The Werewolf has met his match!
The Mortician: Wait, this isn't the Stage... *leaves*
I knew that was going to happen tonight....
Commentator Nicholas: What an unexpected occurrence! Who's next, Stevens?!
Announcer Stevens: And his final opponent, accompanied to the ring by Butchkid, from The Garden... The Plant!
Commentator Catawear: Wow, he looks... threatening.
Commentator Nicholas: Did I give you permission to speak?
Wow! The Werewolf's final opponent is a... plant. I'm sure this match will be no different than the others!
The Werewolf: Ha! This is too easy. *grabs*
Referee Charles: Ring the bell!
Announcer Stevens: Ladies and gentlepengs, The Werewolf has been disqualified for grabbing a foreign object! Therefore, the winner is... THE PLANT!
The Werewolf: What!?
What a twist of events! The Werewolf has been disqualified for grabbing a weapon!
The Plant has done it! The Plant has beaten The Werewolf!
What an inspirational success story! I'm sure The Plant will be remembered for years to come!
What an eventful night! Surely, history has been made and lives have been changed!
Thank you, ladies and gentlepenguins, for dedicating some time from your lives to join in on tonight's intoxicating event!
Until the next tale,
From a cave deep down below the snow, a brave fish emerges from the deep seas in a quest to defeat crime and protect Club Penguin from the activity of problematic criminals who'll go to great lengths to defy the rules. With his sidekick, Mullet Boy, he watches the island from the oceanic shadows and enter the air when suspicious activity is detected. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...
FISHMAN, DEFENDER FROM THE DEEPS!
Wwerocks88 (Narrator): Wait. I have to sing the theme song? No music audio? Uh...
~ Da da da dun dun da dun doo doo ~
Fishman: PREPARE MULLET! Evil is abrewing!
Mullet Boy: Abrewing?
Fishman: I'm not paying you to ask questions.
Mullet Boy: You're not paying me at all.
Today, our brave warriors come to the rescue of a small elderly woman whose purse has come up missing.
Old Lady: Help meh!
Fishman: Help has arrived, young lady!
Mullet Boy: *under his breath* Oh, Jesus, help me....
Old Lady: Oh, good Lord have mercy! Thank ya, deary.
Fishman: My honor! Is that a pearl necklace around your neck? A great friend of mine, he's a clam, ...
Mullet Boy: FISHMAN! Situation at hand!
Fishman: Oh, right. Thank you, faithful sidekick!
That is a pearl necklace, but our dear hero has let his fascinations get the best of him! We need the details on what happened to the sweet old lady's absent purse!
Fishman: What dangers have bestowed you this evening?
Mullet Boy, quietly: Bestowed? Really?
Old Lady: My purse! I lost my dear purse!
Fishman: Oh, the darkest of malefactors! Throw us the details!
Old Lady: Well, I was walking in the Plaza when my purse just vanished!
Fishman: Oh, that leviathan! The status of your purse is now in my...
Mullet Boy: Our.
Fishman: our hands! MULLET! TO THE WATER CAR!
Mullet Boy: We don't have a water car, or any car for that matter.
Fishman: Just follow me.
Old Lady: My heroes! I have a pearl necklace?
What kind of criminal would prompt such conflict to a sweet, innocent old lady like our victim at hand?! What a twisted culprit!
Thankfully, our sea-inhabited heroes are conducting a thorough search, and our twisted culprit will surely be brought to justice before midnight!
Fishman: Snow Forts are clear, Mully.
Mullet Boy: Never call me that again.
Fishman: Snow Forts are clear, Mullet.
Mullet Boy: It's Mullet BOY. And we didn't even thoroughly search the Forts.
Fishman: Excessive snow, Mullet Boy. It's the grand danger of dangers.
Mullet Boy: It's made of water! You live in water!
Fishman: Shhh, suspicious activity at ten o'clock!
Ok, maybe not that thorough. However, our benevolent friends have detected a suspect!
Penguin named Micrel: Here we are....
Fishman: STOP RIGHT THERE, GREEN MAN!
Fishman: Tell me, what are you doing in these waters?!
Mullet Boy: Waters?!
Fishman: You said snow is water so I'm just going by what you said.
Mullet Boy: But it's only water if it turns into a liquid.
Fishman: So you had no right to call me out on my earlier claim since technically, snow is tiny SOLID WATER crystals...
Micrel: Uh... can I go now?
Fishman: NEGATIVE! Not until you tell us what you're doing near the BANK!?
Micrel: Um, surfing the web with my laptop?
Fishman: Oh. Seems like a viable answer. Carry on then, and don't let the fish bite!
What an in-depth interrogation by our yellow fish pal!
Mullet Boy: Nice work there, Sherlock.
Fishman: Thank you, faithful side kick!
Mullet Boy: I was being sar....
Fishman: Trees, Mullet Boy! Our criminal could be hiding behind any of these! You know what this means?
Mullet Boy: What?
Fishman: We must go into space, turn the Earth so the sun faces directly at this here green wonderland, and melt all the snow so it turns into water! That'll cause a flood which will forcefully carry our thief to our fingerprints and therefore, into justice!
Mullet Boy: That's crazy. Can't we just call in the EPF to help us search around the forest?
Fishman: That would be too easy... hey - isn't that our victim?
Mullet Boy: It is!
What a turn of events! Could our victim be chiming in on the search for our villain?
Old Lady: Oh, there you are!
Fishman: What disturbance has occurred, now?!
Old Lady: Oh, nothing, huney. I just realized - I don't even have a purse!
Fishman: That's grea.... wait, what?
Old Lady: I guess my mind is playing tricks on me again this evenin'! Well, gotta run. My pearl necklace seems to be missing....
You have got to be kidding...
Fishman: So.... I guess this was just a big waste of time. What do we do now, Mullet Boy?
Mullet Boy: I am so done with this hero stuff.
Mullet Boy.... in a spacecraft? He isn't thinking what I think he's thinking, is he?!
Fishman: Why is it getting so hot?
*** ERROR ***
Well, it appears this tale has come to an abrupt ending....
So, until the next tale, if there is one,
LADIES AND GENTLEPENGS! Welcome to a very special Club Penguin Tale.
In this tale, we follow the journey of one joyful penguin as goes on a mission to spread the HOLIDAY CHEER!
Yes, in March. Why not?
LADIES AND GENTLEPENGS, ARE YOU READY?! Because here we go!
*Very jolly music starts playing*
Deck the jaws with....
~ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la la ~
'Tis the season...
~ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la la ~
Eat we now...
~ Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la la la ~
Troll the ancient...
~ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la la ~
Are we done yet?
See the blazing...
~ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la la ~
Jump into the circle...
~ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la la ~
Follow me now...
~ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la la ~
While I tell the story...
~ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la la ~
One clear day on the snowy land known as Club Penguin, a conceited penguin known as Antarctica Jon sat near the bright lamp that rest gently on the leaf-colored table in his monumental tree residence a completed man.
Having uncovered the biggest mysteries and fought the biggest of mythical beasts the talking penguins have ever known to exist, Antarctica Jon was prepared to hang up the boots and call it a career.
"Wait a minute!" the adventurous one says. It seems second thoughts are roaring through Jon's head!
That's one way to look at it...
I don't know, what ar...
A new priority, he says? What ever could that new priority be?!
He isn't thinking what I think he's thinking, is he?
It seems Jon's ego has invaded the entirety of him! Will he really go forth and create the next generation's Antarctica Jon?!
Good bacon, he's serious. Our flightless friend is about to waddle into the Pet Shop with his skull pointing to the sky and his self-respect in full swing to adopt a...
He scans the room, looking for the one that will carry his legacy on their back and keep him in the books for as long as the ice is still solid.
What's that? It seems our dear Jon-boy has detected a winner!
Out of all the pookies.... whatever! Ring the bell, we have a winner!
No, that was a figure of speech... *sighs* let's get back to the story...
Jon loads the pookie who has yet to be named into his very apparent limo and prepares to glide to his beautiful nature-drenched house which is partially located above all of our heads with his new priority.
The newly united couple waddle their flightless bodies into Jon's big wooden palace. No touching? guess Jon is setting this up to be a bigger job than it already is!
It seems Antarctica Jon doesn't think to highly of his employees...
Well, that's disgusting.
Wait! That wasn't you....
It appears our friend is ready to serve the drinks!
What an incredibly remarkable accomplishment! It seems Jon and I do have similarities after all...
Great expose! What a twist in this narrative of our dear Jon-boy's life!
It seems Antarctica Jon has yet to "discover" the mirror! I'm sure it won't be long, though....
Self-esteem seems through the roof in the featherless bird as he shows off the footprint of one hairy beast to his new companion!
Obviously Jon has never been around a child.
Oh, the irony...
Now it's just getting ridiculous!
Antarctica Jon's new dragon-foot priority has bailed! What a shocking turn of events!
With these turn of events, Jon has yet to come down from the ego-tainted clouds back into reality!
You couldn't have thought about that in the first place? Whatever...
Another very short chapter has concluded in Antarctica Jon's very eventful life! Until the next tale....
Hello Fellow Penguins!
It's me, Wwerocks88, here with another post! A few months ago, I wrote a post explaining why Disney hasn't ruined Club Penguin. Today, I'm here with a similar post, but this time, I'm going to go more in-depth into the Club Penguin Community. I've split the post into two parts to make it more organized. Enjoy!
Part 1: 'Disney Ruined Club Penguin' Videos
I remember watching a video on YouTube where these two penguins were in an igloo talking about how Disney ruined Club Penguin. In the video, they said Disney ruined CP because they support 'pookies' and 'preps'. Uh... really? It sounds like you came up with that yourself just to have an excuse for hating on Disney. There are tons of other YouTube videos about how Disney 'ruined CP', also. Some of those videos have some good points, but others are pretty laughable at. Below are some videos made by people who claim Disney ruined Club Penguin, along with my view on their video.
In this video, titled 'My reasons why disney ruined club penguin', this person shares his reasons on why he thinks Disney screwed up Club Penguin. I'll admit, some of his points are good. (Examples: Homepage, catalogs [though, they have gotten bigger and somewhat better], chat [even though removing letters was probably a good move], membership, and... well... that's it.) But the good points are pretty much overshadowed by the bad points. Let me take the time to point out the bad points and explain why they're bad:
Bad point #1 - The map: Ok, well, he doesn't really describe the problem with the map. He moves on to the Dojo changing and the Stage being added, which brings me to bad point #2...
Bad point #2 - The Dojo and Stage being added: Ok, first off, this video was made in 2010. So the Dojo wasn't updated to the current design yet. Anyway, he says they turned the Dojo into a place for a stupid card game... about NINJAS! Where do ninjas train? That's right, DOJOS! The Dojo was put on the island for ninjas, not for a hang out spot. Plus, Card-Jitsu was an rsnail project. Even if Disney didn't buy CP, Card-Jitsu would've still been added to the Dojo. He then goes on to say that the Dojo used to be a perfect place for war. Ok, maybe it was. But CP armies move around during battles. So they lost a room, so what? They still got the Snow Forts. Now let's discuss the Plaza. He says they replaced the two tables (really? Two tables being removed is such a big deal?) and replaced it with the Stage that "shows nothing but gay plays". Ok, so the Stage is a little bit boring, but two tables and four chairs were better? We still got a table and chairs in the Town, why not move on to those? He then asks what was wrong with two chairs. Well, nothing, but like I said, there's a table and chairs in the Town. I think I've made my point clear, so let's move on...
Bad point #3 - The 'baybees': Ok, I kind of agree with this point. 'Baybees' are pretty annoying, but Disney didn't have anything to do with their arrival to the island. Players choose to dress up like babies and go to the Pet Shop, they have nothing to do with Disney. "CP isn't doing anything about this!" What are they supposed to do? Ban them?! That'd be unfair. That brings me to bad point #4...
Bad point #4 - Moderators: He says the moderators ban you for no good reason. Wait... didn't you want CP to do something with the 'baybees'? The only thing they could do would be to kick or ban them, and that would go against one of your reasons. Anyway, since when did moderators ban people for no reason? There has to be a reason. Maybe the penguins that got 'banned for no reason' were hacked? Don't know, just a thought. Plus, if you 'got banned for no reason', just contact Club Penguin support. They'll take care of it.
Bad point #5 - The Soccer Pitch: "As soon as summer is coming, they will change the hockey rink to a stupid soccer field". Ok, so you don't like the Soccer Pitch, that's your opinion. But to many penguins, the soccer field is actually enjoyable. Plus, soccer/football is big over in Brazil and Europe, and a decent amount of the CP audience are from that country/continent. I bet if the Soccer Pitch got removed, players from those areas would not be very happy...
Bad point #6 - The games: Many of the original games are still available. People love new games, it would get boring if the same games from 8 years ago were the only available games in 2014. Oh, and also, the games you listed are pretty fun, not just for me, but for many other CP players too.
Bad point #6 - The newspaper: He states the 'Ask Aunt Arctic' section answers dumb questions. Ok, first off, the 'Ask Aunt Arctic' section has been in the newspaper since 2006, before Disney even bought Club Penguin. Come on bro, get some facts. The 'secrets' section does spoil some secrets, but you don't have to read them. Not a very good reason. Moving on...
Bad point #7 - Parties: I kind of agree with you. Keywords: "Kind of". This video was made in 2010, and there were some pretty good parties during that time period. The recent parties, though, are a whole different story for a whole different post that isn't this one. Now, I want to confront this guy about 'member party room in every party'. Anyone remember the 'Pizza Parlor Opening Party', 'Cave Opening Party', and 'Lime Green Party 2006' member-only parties? Yep, all before Disney bought Club Penguin. Nice try dude, I'll give your video a 3.5 out of 10. Maybe 4 since I enjoyed your 'Ask Santa' video. Let's move on to the next video...
This video is titled 'Club Penguin - A Message To Disney' and I added this video to the post simply because I find it kind of funny. :P Let's move on to the next video...
This video is called 'DISNEY RUINED CLUB PENGUIN!' and before I even start talking about this video, I want the creator to know that he DIDN'T HAVE TO TYPE THE TITLE IN ALL CAPS. Ok, now on to the video. The first thing you'll see in this video is a big annoying annotation that threatens to close the comments section because the uploader is tired of 'n00bs' sticking up for Disney. There's also another little annotation that says the video's creator quit CP because of Disney and he hopes Disney doesn't buy YouTube. Dude, Google owns YouTube, along with many other websites. I think you don't have to worry about Disney buying it. Anyway, the only point I want to point out in this video is membership. In this video, the uploader states that Club Penguin didn't have membership before Disney bought it. Uh, wrong. Club Penguin has had membership ever since 2006, maybe even longer. And let me just state this: If Club Penguin didn't have membership, Club Penguin would've closed several years ago. I also want to point out the penguin above the uploader's head while the uploader is trying to give his thoughts about the chat filters. I think he was having color difficulties. Just sayin'. Now, I want to discuss the video description. In the description, he says he's tired of "n00b's saying that 'Disney made CP better' or even stupider (his grammar, not mine) 'Disney made CP'". I thought calling all of the people who thought Disney saved CP from going bankrupt 'n00bs' was a bit rude. There are many old players who say Disney saved CP from going under. And yes, Disney did save Club Penguin. If Disney didn't step in, Club Penguin wouldn't exist anymore. That's a fact. I also like how, in his channel comments, he left a comment that says "Rsnail MISSES CP, He wants it back", "DISNEY was the one that added MEMBERSHIP", and "Do some reshearch before stating your case". Sorry, VALisAwsomeXD, but maybe YOU should've did some RESEARCH before starting your case because rsnail has moved on to other games. He might miss CP, but I doubt he wants it back. Like I stated above, membership has been part of CP since 2006, maybe even before. Your 'facts' are made up, just like most of the 'facts' Disney haters make up for an excuse for hating on Disney.
Ok, so I think I've made my point. Let's move on to the next part before I bang my head through my computer monitor.
Part 2: Abominable Protests
I find it quite pathetic that Disney haters decide to ruin everyone else's fun by voicing their hate on the online game. I also find it quite funny that almost everybody who does so joined Club Penguin AFTER Disney bought it. Stamp Books exist, people. Let me take the time to share a meme I made a while back:
Ok, if you look at the photo above the best in the world at what he does, you'll see a big line of people complaining about the 'new Club Penguin'. This photo was taken on the server Abominable, the first server on the servers list and probably the most popular. Let me take the time to discuss this photo with you. First of all, yes, I'm the one who took the screenshot. No, I was not one of the people complaining, obviously. Anyway, as you can see, there are penguins stating some pretty false things. False things such as 'everything was free'. NO, EVERYTHING WASN'T FREE. Like I've stated many times above, membership has existed in Club Penguin since 2006 (maybe even longer, I'm not a CP historian), BEFORE DISNEY BOUGHT CLUB PENGUIN. Disney didn't bring membership into Club Penguin. There's also a penguin saying 'old is gold new is ewwwww'. Good God, that line is so overused. It's not even clever, or original. It sounds like a six year old came up with it. (They probably did.) Anyway, let me take your eyes to the very right. (Your right) Yes, I'm pretty sure that penguin is saying 'no mascots'. What's wrong with mascots? I think they're quite fun and cool. Also, old Club Penguin had mascots, so I have no idea why that penguin was saying that. You may have noticed that almost all the penguins complaining have recent clothing items on. Why is that, you ask? Because, like I stated above, most of these penguins joined CP after Disney bought it. Almost every single person who complains about Disney joined Club Penguin after Disney bought it and want old CP back because they didn't have the opportunity to experience it. You want my opinion on these complainers? My opinion is this: They're wasting their time. Instead of moving forward like they should be doing, they're moving backwards, the wrong way. Seriously, 'old Club Penguin' is gone. Get over it. It's not coming back. If you don't like it, then quit. It's not that hard. Move on. Abominable (and any server) protests are pointless and won't accomplish anything. By writing this post, I'm not trying to persuade people to stop hating on Disney. I'm simply saying that most of the people who do hate on Disney don't have the actual facts, and some have some pretty weird reasons. I'll admit, I do miss some of the old features that used to be part of Club Penguin, but I've moved on from those features and accepted that they're gone. (Ok, maybe not the missions. Please come back, missions.) That's what the complainers haven't done. They haven't accepted that the 'old Club Penguin' is gone, and I think they don't want to, which is pretty sad. I hope you enjoyed my post, and please leave a comment below telling me your thoughts on this post and if you prefer the 'old Club Penguin' over the 'new Club Penguin', or vice versa. Thanks for reading!
I know this is a long post, sorry if you got bored. ;)
Hello Fellow Penguins!
Nine years ago today, the game that we all know and love opened its island's doors to the public audience for the first time ever. Nine years ago today, Club Penguin launched. Happy Anniversary, Club Penguin!
~Wwerocks88, follow me on Twitter @Wwerocks88CP
You are now exploring Secret File #959: G@M3$. Enjoy.
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