Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
As far as surprise entrances, I predict a Hogan return (maybe give him one elimination with Curt Hawkins), Shinsuke Nakamura debut, and Finn Balor return.
During the match, I'd have everyone gang up on Braun Strowman after he puts his hands on Hogan, throw him over the second rope, and have a few superstars (Sami Zayn, Shinsuke, Balor, and maybe Luke Harper?) put him through two announce tables ringside.
Then, since this match will feature multiple superstars, for the first 6-10 minutes I'd focus on laying the foundation for future feuds. Eliminations are the most obvious way to do this, but I'd also have some encounters in the match that will play a part in a feud along the road. Maybe an injury angle to a babyface caused by a heel or unintentional contact from one babyface to another prompting a heel turn. I'd also begin Shinsuke's first feud with Finn Balor (who would later turn heel) after the two eliminate each other.
When Strowman gets involved, he takes this whole match by the throat and makes it his bitch. He eliminates all (ALL, starting with Hogan) remaining superstars in the ring (I'd have at least 10, preferably Hogan, Mojo Rawley, Apollo Crews, Big Show, Shaq, Usos, Mark Henry, Fandango or Tyler Breeze, and Sami Zayn. I'd definitely have Zayn put up a fight against Strowman.) After his defeat to Roman, Strowman is going to need this.
Ok, so maybe this was more of a "How I would book this match" type of thing. Bottom line, Strowman dominates.
Alexa Bliss vs Carmella vs Natalya vs Mickie James vs Becky Lynch vs other TBA
Eva Marie. No, she won't win, but I hope she returns here in this match and stay out of harms way until she sees an opportunity calling her name. The opportunity, of course, backfires on her. Bottom line, WE NEED EVA MARIE IN THIS MATCH. As far as winner goes, if Naomi returns, the title goes back to her. If she doesn't, maybe a Mickie James run with the gold? As far as past divas returning, if Kelly Kelly just has to be involved, so be it. She doesn't win, though. I also wouldn't mind Tamina, Victoria, Lita, and maybe Melina getting added to this match.
Neville vs Austin Aries
While Neville has been phenomenal as a heel, Austin Aries has been great since he debuted on commentary. I predict Aries wins. Considering the competitors in this match, you know this match will be excellent. Just, please, no purple ropes.
John Cena and Nikki Bella vs The Miz and Maryse
If Cena proposes to Nikki, then I hope Maryse eats the pin to protect Miz and have the proposal take place after the match. They can use ring rust as an excuse afterwards, since this is Maryse's first match in 6 years. The main thing here is to protect the Miz at all costs.
Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson vs Enzo & Cass vs Cesaro & Sheamus
Cass gets the titles after Enzo nails Sheamus, who's up the ladder with Cass, in the nuts with a ladder. Cesaro and Cass would lay out Gallows & Anderson before Cass blind-sides Cesaro outside of the ring. Cass will climb up when he spots Sheamus at the top of the ladder and Enzo will enter the ring with a ladder and take Sheamus's chances of having kids in the future away from him. Yes, this would spark a heel turn for E&C.
Dean Ambrose vs Baron Corbin
RENEE YOUNG ON A FORKLIFT MATCH! Ok, just kidding. I predict a Baron Corbin win for this match, and then move forward by never hearing him blab pre-written dialogue again. Seriously. He's better without it.
I'd also love to see Ambrose attempt some crazy stunt, maybe a flying elbow off a forklift into an End of Days, and ultimately have that costing him the match.
Chris Jericho vs Kevin Owens
A beautiful friendship, ruined by a man's (who's name involves three Hs) selfish desire to control the WWE at the palm of his hands. He brainwashes a fellow wrestler into igniting a flame under his best friendship's ass and creating ashes beneath a gift's feet.
Ok, so it was a fake friendship. We've all dealt with those. Therefore, it wasn't all that beautiful. Anyway, Owens wins clean.
Shane McMahon vs AJ Styles
Obviously Shane's going to do a crazy-ass stunt. I see him connecting but doing an injury angle. When AJ recovers, he attacks Shane abid ref's orders and wins the match in heel fashion. This would give Daniel Bryan ore reasons to trade him to RAW in the 2017 draft.
Bayley vs Charlotte vs Sasha Banks vs Nia Jax
I predict a Sasha win after she rolls Bayley up and uses the tights to her advantage. She'll officially turn heel the night after on RAW.
Seth Rollins vs Triple H
You know Triple H is going to focus on the injured knee in this match. Rollins will rise against the odds and go out as the victor. I also wouldn't mind seeing him use the Curb Stomp, but I like the idea of Seth pinning HHH with his own move.
Roman Reigns vs The Undertaker
If Roman Reigns wins, he SHOULD NOT remain a babyface. We all know Reigns is going to win. I'd have Undertaker's health play a role in this match and have Reigns take advantage of that. Have no sympathy what-so-ever, and the next night on RAW, have him brag about it.
Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt
I definitely do not see Sister Abigail coming out to help Bray. That won't happen simply because they've said a thousand times during this feud that she's dead. She's buried. And cremated. She'll never debut.
Anyway, I see Wyatt using his mind games to beat the Arsonist and lead the army of sheep masks through the darkness as WWE Champion.
Brock Lesnar vs Goldberg
Brock takes 'berg to Suplex City. Then he activates an F5 and wins. The end.
Paul "Triple H" Levesque, the Executive Vice President of Talent, Live Events & Creative of WWE and founder of WWE's developmental territory NXT, has revealed in a press conference today that the NXT Takeover: Dallas special is really just one big April Fools joke.
"I think we really got them," Levesque said, referring to the die-hard NXT fans. "I can't wait to see their reaction when they turn on the WWE Network, which is free for new subscribers and only $9.99 afterwards, to watch the NXT special and find out there isn't one."
Levesque revealed that in place of the made up special, WWE will run a two hour special episode of the "popular hit show" Total Divas instead.
"It's gonna be great. Nikki Bella (who probably won't be wearing a bra) will ask John Cena about kids and marriage (again), Eva Marie will most likely piss somebody off, Nikki and Brie will argue, and I'm sure somebody will go shopping. It'll be a must-watch!" Levesque said.
The special airs at 10e/7p tonight exclusively on the WWE Network.
Happy April Fools Day!
You are now exploring Secret File #527: WW3. Enjoy.
My WWE Roster
Click here to view my WWE Roster.
5. John Cena
3. Seth Rollins
2. Brock Lesnar
1. Dean Ambrose
My TNA Roster
My Fav. 5
3. Bad News Barrett
2. The Shield (All 3 members)
1. Daniel Bryan