SUMMINSBERG - In an historic announcement, the mayor of Summinsberg has announced a huge change to the holiday we celebrate every second Monday of October.
"As I stand here on this evening, I can honestly say that I'm a waken man." the mayor began. "A couple days ago, a hero emerged from the shadows to expose the truth about our wicked not-discoverer, Christopher Columbus."
The crowd cheers as the mayor throws back to our own Cole Doovex's interview and tour with Mr. Licker Cuntpiss, a local Columbus critic.
"For that, for exposing Columbus for the monster that he truly is to the entire world, I hereby declare Columbus Day to be replaced by Cuntpiss Day, to celebrate the great discoverer of the truth!" the mayor announces to hurrahs from the audience.
In the colorful crowd stands a man in a black attire with a hood covering his face. Upon further inspection, the mayor calls the man to the podium.
It's our discoverer himself, Mr. Licker Cuntpiss!
"Sir, please, make a statement." the mayor tells the noticeably nervous icon.
"No, goddammit no!" the heroic icon exclaims to applause.
"What a soft-spoken warrior!" one citizen says.
"This... I.... I don't want any part of Columbus!" Mr. Cuntpiss states to even more applause. "Quit clapping! I don't want to be involved with Columbus!"
The mayor then takes over once more to sign us off.
"Denouncing Columbus again, what a legend! Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Cuntpiss, the discoverer of the truth about Christopher Columbus!" he says to roars from the crowd.
From everyone here at Box of Rocks, we'd like to wish you a Happy Cuntpiss Day!
SUMMINSBERG - Yesterday, our own Cole Doovex conducted an interview with local Columbus fanatic, Mr. Licker Cuntpiss.
In what was originally supposed to be a continuation of that interview has turned sour as it appears Mr. Cuntpiss has had a change of heart overnight.
"Screw Columbus, that racist piece of dick!" he roared as Doovex attempted to enter the once-beloved gallery.
"That's great, but can we please get to the interview?" Doovex wisely asked.
"Are you trying to exploit my gallery? You think Columbus is great, don't you? You racist pig! Do you not know what he did?" Cuntpiss fired. "HE KILLED A BUNCH OF NATIVES! You like him? Racist!"
Doovex then met a door to the face as Cuntpiss made it clear the interview was off.
SUMMINSBERG -- As Columbus Day approaches, we here at Box of Rocks strive to give our readers something that'll captivate and feed our greed so much that our egos erupt in satisfaction. So when a viewer contacts us to bless our authentic souls with permission to invade their personal business, it's like Christmas emerges over our heads.
Our own Cole Doovex is on the field to report of Mr. Licker Cuntpiss's, a local fanatic of our pleasant discoverer Christopher Columbus, prized collection of Columbus memorabilia.
"This right here is Columbus's sword. He used this to ruthlessly chop the heads off of all the indigenous creepers that were obstacles in his path to victory!" uttered the faithful enthusiast as he details the historic piece Mr. Columbus sported on his famous voyage.
Portraits array of the very successful discoverer as we stroll throughout the committed space. Along with the portraits, displays of replicated Columbus attire fancies the room.
We make our way to the very end of the room where an exhibit of an aged hat entices visitors of the renowned gallery.
"This right here is Columbus's hat. He used this to keep the sun out of his eyes while pounding the jeebesus out of all the pests that came his way!" he claimed.
As we walk away from the display, Mr. Cuntpiss vanishes into a small nearby room. Minutes fly by until he finally emerges fiercely fancied in Columbus apparel.
"LAND AHEAD!" he ejaculated. He points his sword to the sky cheerfully, just like Columbus did in the 1400s when he totally discovered America.
Just as he was about to reenact apparent battle, my watch alerted that I was tardy to interfere in another person's business, so we declared salutations as I promise to return tomorrow for the tour's finale.
In the last post, I announced that I'll be returning to this website to finish unfinished business. I have a ton of posts saved as drafts on all three blogs featured here that I plan on publishing before I move to a different website, which will most likely be 2 and a half years from now when I have a Web Design degree.
Another reason why I returned is because I abandoned some ideas that I really don't want to go to waste. Namely, the "Federation" storyline on my "WW3" blog.
However, the MAIN reason I'm back is because I'm going to use this website as a testing ground - no, not for nuclear bombs - for ideas that I have in mind for a new blog I'm going to be releasing (the one that got deleted due to my PC turning heel on me.... and because I forgot to log in before the deadline). I also want to test my writing skills and try new styles, as I feel my writing needs s̶o̶m̶e̶ a lot of work.
So, expect some different (ooo, italic) posts in the future.
I'll see myself out on that note.
~Dude who owns this website
Hey gu- woah, it's dusty in here.
As you can see, the wheel fell off the wagon. The wagon being this website and the wheel being, of course, me. Anyway, I've decided to return temporarily in the light of news about a little game I dedicated most of my blogging journey to, Club Penguin, closing down. More on that in the next post.
I'll start with providing you an update - if you have read my pinned tweet on my Twitter page, you were aware that I was working on a new blog. Keyword - "was." It got deleted due to inactivity. I'm planning on re-creating it, but plans have been put off for now.
That's why I've decided to throw you guys a post on here. I have a ton of posts on the three blogs you'll find here that I'd like to finish up and publish. I also have some ideas for new posts that I'm looking to release - mostly about WWE and Club Penguin, since the desktop version is closing down.
I don't know how long until I officially close this website for good in favor of the new one, but for now, enjoy!
-Rocks/Wwerocks88/Wwe/Whatever you wanna call me
Happy Thanksgiving! Here's a video of the Undertaker Tombstoning a turkey:
R.I.P. to all the turkeys that we've lost... and ate... this season. Such a delicious shame.
Again, happy Thanksgiving!
Armed with a chained hook, I walk this hall with my legs trembling and left eye socket full of discomfort. Uncertain of my objective, I slowly walk to the nearby staircase; my long, trench coat dragging and my open crown hat covering my identity in the dark environment.
As I set my sight downstairs, I see my dad walk into the door. He heads towards the kitchen, unaware of my presence. Stealthy, I stalk him. I watch him access the fridge.
"This is your opportunity." the unfamiliar voice calls. "He's a cancer! A disease that haunts this world! End him!"
I sneak up behind him quietly as he looks for a late night snack. I get in position, and without hesitation, wrap my left hand around his mouth.
"Show him what it's like!" the voice demands as my dad struggles to fight out of my hold. I take my hook and whack him in his left eye. Without any guilt, I watch him crumble to the ground; blood pouring out of his left eye socket where his eye used to be.
I then wake up; my body soaked with sweat, my lungs gasping for air and my eyes watering like a faucet. I pull the sheets off of my drenched body and rise from my bed. I walk out of my room and start towards the bathroom.
As I'm washing my face, I look into the mirror. I notice my left eye swollen and bloodshot. Concerned, I grab a towel and wipe the water off of my aching face. I quickly pace out of the bathroom and aim towards the staircase. I stop dead in my tracks as I turn to walk down the steep stairs.
3 feet above ground, he hangs in my sight silently. Attached from the left eye socket to a chained hook, his pale body dangles in the night's absent light. A pool of blood sits right below him, dripping from his lifeless body.
As frozen as ice on a cold snowy day, I watch as my dad's murdered body forces itself into my brain forever.
Suddenly, my brain catches something unusual inches away from the pool of blood my father's wounds created.
Accompanied by a note, a red prosthetic eye lies peacefully on my carpeted floor. I pick up the folded note and begin to read. Shock suddenly fills my body as the pounding of my heart enters my ears.
"Thank you" the note states in big, red liquid writing.
What you're exploring right now is my 'office'; in other words, my main blog.
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